








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 986 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3754 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3632 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3713 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3437 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,846,982 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbiti | 55% | 110 |
| #2 | Na1s | 54% | 234 |
| #3 | w1Ld | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Navarro | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | CiKa उ | 51% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 25 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | BuliOracle | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | CiKa उ | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Na1s | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | dragonst4r | 8 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 849 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | Na1s | 745 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | BuliOracle | 697 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | Samil™ | 493 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | CiKa उ | 369 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbiti | +3.50 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | dragonst4r | +3.46 | 94 | 59 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | +2.43 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | w1Ld | +1.83 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | apehandler | +1.30 | 68 | 74 |





