








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 362 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1978 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1716 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,453 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jannes | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 59% | 181 |
| #3 | Purpsenju | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Zinc | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | uhhhhhhhhh | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 59% | 181 |
| #3 | Purpsenju | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Zinc | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | uhhhhhhhhh | 53% | 78 |
| #6 | klanker flanker | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhhhhhhhhh | 15 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Purpsenju | 15 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Zinc | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | klanker flanker | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 437 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | uhhhhhhhhh | 162 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Purpsenju | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zinc | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jannes | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | +2.78 | 60 | 53 |
| #2 | Zinc | +1.11 | 38 | 34 |
| #3 | uhhhhhhhhh | +1.00 | 48 | 35 |
| #4 | Jannes | +0.66 | 34 | 20 |
| #5 | Purpsenju | +0.28 | 51 | 42 |





