








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2809 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 964 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1049 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,355 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigaslime | 25 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Purpsenju | 16 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | uhhhhhhhhh | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | cumfart | 8 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigaslime | 420 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | dylara دلآرا-دلارا | 358 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | TinG💔 | 161 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Swaino | 158 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | uhhhhhhhhh | 155 | 0.10 | 3 min |





