








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4112 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3456 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2694 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2844 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,008 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A1rz ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Louis | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | yer maws a bam | 50% | 230 |
| #4 | Andy | 47% | 118 |
| #5 | Kachow | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yer maws a bam | 665 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Andy | 296 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Louis | 231 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | A1rz ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ | 188 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kachow | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yer maws a bam | +2.18 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | b0nkers | +1.10 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | A1rz ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ | +1.09 | 77 | 80 |
| #4 | Louis | +0.51 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | MrIDidYourMom:) | -0.14 | 84 | 61 |





