








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 868 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 427 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9963 | 25% |
| Smokes | 17349 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 8573 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4127 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,002,289 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyler The Man | 45% | 404 |
| #2 | smartsyy | 44% | 220 |
| #3 | CocoQuinn | 43% | 1569 |
| #4 | moon | 41% | 283 |
| #5 | WelderMop | 41% | 554 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CocoQuinn | 56 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Tyler The Man | 37 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Firegale23 | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | smartsyy | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | moon | 13 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WelderMop | 1198 | 0.10 | 30 min |
| #2 | CocoQuinn | 1194 | 0.04 | 28 min |
| #3 | smartsyy | 1026 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #4 | Tyler The Man | 255 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Firegale23 | 158 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smartsyy | +3.17 | 58 | 69 |
| #2 | WelderMop | +2.58 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | DINGLEDANG | +1.72 | 35 | 52 |
| #4 | Tyler The Man | +0.64 | 32 | 47 |
| #5 | Firegale23 | -0.61 | 52 | 38 |





