








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3989 | 50% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2307 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 165 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,669 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Graceless | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | EeeJae | 54% | 110 |
| #3 | spence ☺ | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | Micropenis.exe | 47% | 154 |
| #5 | yeahalean | 44% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micropenis.exe | 535 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | yeahalean | 338 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | EeeJae | 254 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | spence ☺ | 177 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | colby | 132 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EeeJae | +2.49 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | spence ☺ | +1.25 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | yeahalean | +0.24 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | colby | +0.15 | 87 | 56 |
| #5 | jeggster | -0.29 | 63 | 67 |





