








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8602 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6706 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8209 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8257 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,464 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slurm | 57% | 100 |
| #2 | LimeGrab | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | USSR-DDoS | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slurm | 57% | 100 |
| #2 | LimeGrab | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | USSR-DDoS | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slurm | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | LimeGrab | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slurm | 431 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | LimeGrab | 219 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | USSR-DDoS | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR-DDoS | +2.32 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | LimeGrab | +1.90 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | | +1.70 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | Slurm | +0.46 | 79 | 69 |





