








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1504 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1630 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1726 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,545 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOMAD | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Streak ^V^ | 51% | 146 |
| #3 | Wolfy | 49% | 96 |
| #4 | ChewBracObama | 48% | 105 |
| #5 | Clownie. | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | 64 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | ChewBracObama | 27 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Wolfy | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | NOMAD | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Clownie. | 5 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | 472 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | ChewBracObama | 349 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | NOMAD | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Clownie. | 180 | 0.46 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wolfy | 137 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | +3.28 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Clownie. | +1.25 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Wolfy | +0.65 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Detective Gibby | -0.12 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | ChewBracObama | -0.47 | 49 | 49 |





