








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2204 | 29% |
| Smokes | 151 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 2668 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2660 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,090 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clownie. | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | NOMAD | 52% | 91 |
| #3 | Detective Gibby | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | ChewBracObama | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | Wolfy | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChewBracObama | 27 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Detective Gibby | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | NOMAD | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Wolfy | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Clownie. | 4 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChewBracObama | 447 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | NOMAD | 264 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Detective Gibby | 260 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Clownie. | 257 | 0.52 | 6 min |
| #5 | Wolfy | 128 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | +2.70 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Clownie. | +0.32 | 55 | 59 |
| #3 | Wolfy | +0.21 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | Detective Gibby | -0.16 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | ChewBracObama | -0.44 | 49 | 49 |





