








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 803 | 21% |
| Smokes | 935 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1065 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,137 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Rin ♡ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Lizzard Harry | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Detective Gibby | 49% | 96 |
| #4 | NOMAD | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Streak ^V^ | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | 44 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | ChewBracObama | 17 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Detective Gibby | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | NOMAD | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Clownie. | 3 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | 296 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | ChewBracObama | 219 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Detective Gibby | 172 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Clownie. | 130 | 0.48 | 3 min |
| #5 | NOMAD | 126 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streak ^V^ | +3.66 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | Wolfy | +0.66 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | Clownie. | +0.50 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | ChewBracObama | -0.18 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | Detective Gibby | -0.22 | 63 | 55 |





