








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 9% |
| Smokes | 816 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2653 | 62% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $103,682 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanZ3r0 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | sunny | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | arrgh | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Tiz | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Player 1 | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | arrgh | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Tiz | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Player 1 | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | eagleJ | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | Peaches | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunny | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | eagleJ | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Tiz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | DanZ3r0 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | arrgh | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunny | 90 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tiz | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | arrgh | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Player 1 | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Peaches | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunny | +5.07 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | eagleJ | +2.76 | 67 | 42 |
| #3 | P I C K L 3 | -0.71 | 60 | 40 |
| #4 | DanZ3r0 | -0.97 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | Player 1 | -1.30 | 50 | 69 |





