








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2618 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2434 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3285 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2238 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,662 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunny | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Peaches | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | P I C K L 3 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | calzone | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Tiz | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | P I C K L 3 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | calzone | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Tiz | 48% | 77 |
| #6 | AlphaTesting | 47% | 34 |
| #7 | eagleJ | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eagleJ | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Tiz | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | sunny | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Peaches | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | AlphaTesting | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiz | 152 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | calzone | 110 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | sunny | 93 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | AlphaTesting | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Peaches | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunny | +4.94 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | eagleJ | +2.24 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | AlphaTesting | +0.79 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | calzone | +0.73 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | arrgh | -1.10 | 63 | 64 |





