








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2613 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1538 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1803 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2482 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,575,972 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Porbei | 57% | 35 |
| 57% | 114 | ||
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Loving Grandfather [Deceased] | 56% | 104 |
| #5 | Mexico Smith | 53% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Loving Grandfather [Deceased] | 56% | 104 |
| #5 | Mexico Smith | 53% | 114 |
| #6 | Ado | 51% | 95 |
| #7 | WhimsyQueef | 44% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 28 | 0.0127 | ||
| #2 | Mexico Smith | 25 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Ado | 20 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Loving Grandfather [Deceased] | 19 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | johnglorp1967 | 16 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnglorp1967 | 249 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ado | 184 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Loving Grandfather [Deceased] | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mexico Smith | 95 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Porbei | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Porbei | +4.31 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | streetceo1106 | +3.65 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | johnglorp1967 | +2.68 | 55 | 37 |
| #4 | Mexico Smith | +1.99 | 49 | 26 |
| #5 | Ado | -0.03 | 63 | 44 |





