








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 24% |
| Smokes | 629 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,038 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 75% | 16 | ||
| #2 | streetceo1106 | 51% | 95 |
| 50% | 12 | ||
| #4 | johnglorp1967 | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Mexico Smith | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | streetceo1106 | 51% | 95 |
| 50% | 12 | ||
| #4 | johnglorp1967 | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Mexico Smith | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | WhimsyQueef | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 0.0159 | ||
| #2 | streetceo1106 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Mexico Smith | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | WhimsyQueef | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | johnglorp1967 | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | streetceo1106 | 168 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | johnglorp1967 | 22 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | Mexico Smith | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| 5 | 0.02 | 0 min | ||
| 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |





