








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 26% |
| Smokes | 280 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 533 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 583 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,406 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mao Lebron | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | TradeFire | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Pimpin | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | veeR | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Sean | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TradeFire | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Pimpin | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | veeR | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Sean | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | Gerg | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TradeFire | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Pimpin | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Gerg | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pimpin | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | TradeFire | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gerg | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sean | 28 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mao Lebron | 13 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Otaku-kun | MeatWallet.com | +3.53 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Sean | +2.50 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Pimpin | -0.98 | 59 | 43 |
| #4 | Gerg | -1.20 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | TradeFire | -2.33 | 36 | 55 |





