








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4028 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2492 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1977 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,075 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TM0 | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | Shark. | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Vinth | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | .serenitxy | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | ☂Baiterschirm | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fab | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Vandalbear | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | BlacK | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TM0 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | w1ck3d <3 #shoxieJESUS | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vandalbear | 514 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Vinth | 472 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | TM0 | 314 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | BlacK | 290 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | fab | 246 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vandalbear | +3.81 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | .serenitxy | +3.60 | 84 | 76 |
| #3 | TM0 | +1.95 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | BlacK | +1.73 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | basTi. | +1.72 | 78 | 57 |





