








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 22% |
| Smokes | 215 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 680 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,641 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophecy | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | psykosage | 100% | 11 |
| #3 | lunar | 87% | 30 |
| #4 | ymcmb | 86% | 36 |
| #5 | tonesss | 86% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheRealCigar | 11 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | lunar | 11 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | ymcmb | 8 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 7 | 0.0269 |
| #5 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 6 | 0.0181 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 115 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | ymcmb | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 72 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 69 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | TheRealCigar | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tonesss | +6.13 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Prophecy | +5.86 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +5.00 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | psykosage | +5.00 | 84 | 22 |
| #5 | lunar | +3.65 | 87 | 61 |





