








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11349 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7013 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8346 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5961 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,588,015 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmJayOoh | 50% | 204 |
| #2 | kev g. | 48% | 102 |
| #3 | Cok3DoutCarter | 46% | 348 |
| #4 | Swag Demon | 46% | 87 |
| #5 | jace | 44% | 330 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cok3DoutCarter | 46% | 348 |
| #4 | Swag Demon | 46% | 87 |
| #5 | jace | 44% | 330 |
| #6 | xngry | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | Sheth | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jace | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | EmJayOoh | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Cok3DoutCarter | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | xngry | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Sheth | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jace | 1014 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #2 | EmJayOoh | 883 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #3 | Cok3DoutCarter | 578 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | kev g. | 528 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | Swag Demon | 422 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmJayOoh | +2.71 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | kev g. | +1.31 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | Duck | +1.13 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | Sheth | +0.34 | 73 | 39 |
| #5 | Swag Demon | +0.20 | 69 | 72 |





