








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8479 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7968 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6109 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7308 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,147,786 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NerfHurter | 55% | 138 |
| #2 | coolius | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | Cok3DoutCarter | 50% | 220 |
| #4 | kev g. | 50% | 116 |
| #5 | jace | 49% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Grayhood114 | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Duck | 46% | 87 |
| #9 | Sheth | 42% | 73 |
| #10 | TheAtomicTank | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | PeshandFrog | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jace | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | NerfHurter | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Spice and Lamb | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Grayhood114 | 9 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Duck | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev g. | 664 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | jace | 661 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | NerfHurter | 557 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Duck | 542 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #5 | Cok3DoutCarter | 366 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev g. | +1.61 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Duck | +1.51 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Swag Demon | +1.42 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | coolius | +0.94 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | NerfHurter | +0.84 | 58 | 64 |





