








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1666 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2402 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1781 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1825 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,750 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CryptIke | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | rad chad | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Weezy_Cheezy | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Allen | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | cmon cuh | 53% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Allen | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | cmon cuh | 53% | 109 |
| #6 | trinidart01 | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 49% | 115 |
| #8 | Al Gorro | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weezy_Cheezy | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | trinidart01 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Al Gorro | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 311 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | cmon cuh | 216 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Weezy_Cheezy | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Allen | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | trinidart01 | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | +1.07 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Tyy | +0.99 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Weezy_Cheezy | +0.75 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | cmon cuh | +0.59 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Allen | -1.19 | 51 | 60 |





