








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 31% |
| Smokes | 858 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,099 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazie | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | J-Jyde | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Donald Dunk | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | EC0 | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | J-Jyde | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Donald Dunk | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | EC0 | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | -Denji- | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EC0 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Donald Dunk | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Fazie | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazie | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | EC0 | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Donald Dunk | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | J-Jyde | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-Jyde | +2.79 | 87 | 47 |
| #2 | Fazie | +2.44 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | +1.68 | 92 | 55 |
| #4 | Donald Dunk | +0.67 | 71 | 45 |
| #5 | Exborne | -0.48 | 71 | 70 |





