








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 47% |
| Smokes | 480 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,230 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donald Dunk | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Fazie | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | -Denji- | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Exborne | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | EC0 | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kalikan | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | Dr0nen | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | bøfsandwich | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | KAJ | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | lund:) | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EC0 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | -Denji- | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Donald Dunk | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bøfsandwich | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazie | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | EC0 | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cyb3rN | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Exborne | 71 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kalikan | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAJ | +2.65 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Cyb3rN | +2.06 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | +1.95 | 91 | 49 |
| #4 | Donald Dunk | +0.91 | 73 | 42 |
| #5 | Dr0nen | +0.76 | 85 | 65 |





