








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2451 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1850 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,628 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kagemanden Tim🍺 | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | exe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | AP♿ | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | ghostkiller | 48% | 163 |
| #5 | Son_Deadpool-︻デ 一☂ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kagemanden Tim🍺 | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | exe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | AP♿ | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | ghostkiller | 48% | 163 |
| #5 | Son_Deadpool-︻デ 一☂ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AP♿ | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | ghostkiller | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Son_Deadpool-︻デ 一☂ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | exe | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kagemanden Tim🍺 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ghostkiller | 578 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | AP♿ | 418 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | Son_Deadpool-︻デ 一☂ | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kagemanden Tim🍺 | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | exe | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kagemanden Tim🍺 | +3.20 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | -Denji- | +1.71 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | AP♿ | +1.56 | 55 | 64 |
| #4 | exe | +0.09 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | ghostkiller | -2.22 | 61 | 59 |





