








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 254 | 19% |
| Smokes | 288 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,335 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | J-Jyde | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Fazie | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Exborne | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | EC0 | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exborne | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fazie | 104 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | EC0 | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | AP♿ | 13 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-Jyde | +2.79 | 87 | 43 |
| #2 | AP♿ | +2.73 | 50 | 61 |
| #3 | DaddyFr1Ze The Mobsヅ | +2.72 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | Fazie | +1.28 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | KAJ | +0.59 | 62 | 45 |





