








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1822 | 37% |
| Smokes | 679 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,863 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winstar | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | BETELGEUSE | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lll | 51% | 76 |
| #4 | MeaL | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | skeelz | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | lll | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | mooreontap | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | skeelz | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | RASCAL | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 558 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | lll | 386 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | RASCAL | 350 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | mooreontap | 212 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | skeelz | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +2.53 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | BETELGEUSE | +1.55 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | NAMELESS | +1.50 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | panic | +0.15 | 62 | 51 |
| #5 | aerowalk | -0.28 | 56 | 60 |





