








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1922 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2038 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1699 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,099 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | 58% | 76 |
| #2 | skeelz | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | aerowalk | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | panic | 47% | 79 |
| #5 | NAMELESS | 44% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | lll | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | aerowalk | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | skeelz | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | WRETCHED | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 785 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | lll | 429 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #3 | BETELGEUSE | 243 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | panic | 242 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | WRETCHED | 207 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +3.05 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | NAMELESS | +1.82 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | BETELGEUSE | +1.31 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | panic | +1.00 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | RASCAL | +0.44 | 68 | 61 |





