








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3550 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3692 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3212 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2715 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,414,469 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | RASCAL | 47% | 112 |
| #12 | WRETCHED | 47% | 60 |
| #13 | skeelz | 45% | 114 |
| #14 | Eddy | 39% | 23 |
| #15 | panic | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | RASCAL | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | NAMELESS | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Skeith | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | skeelz | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 847 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | lll | 616 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | RASCAL | 450 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Skeith | 262 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | panic | 209 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +2.30 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | Skeith | +2.12 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | NAMELESS | +1.69 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | BETELGEUSE | +0.80 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | rowdy | +0.67 | 76 | 70 |





