








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3380 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6470 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5889 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6228 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,950 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filou. | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | thewaist_ | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | Rҳnɗy_ | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | phate | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | cl_neko^ | 48% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | FraChry | 39% | 71 |
| #12 | SτØℝm | 37% | 30 |
| #13 | kyouden 𐕣 | 36% | 44 |
| #14 | kielsie | 36% | 50 |
| #15 | Mr Hankey | 30% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FraChry | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Cyptex | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Janiaros | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | iTaXx' | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Mr Hankey | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cl_neko^ | 445 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | ャ_Uff_ャ | 319 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #3 | Treasli | 292 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | FraChry | 292 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | iTaXx' | 233 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTaXx' | +2.27 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | Filou. | +2.10 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | cl_neko^ | +1.74 | 63 | 77 |
| #4 | ャ_Uff_ャ | +1.34 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | 54m4n | +0.92 | 66 | 65 |





