








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 585 | 36% |
| Smokes | 232 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 433 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 369 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,392 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Beetle | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | LayeredPenguin | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | Pepper | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | MoToR | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Beetle | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | LayeredPenguin | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | Pepper | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | MoToR | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LayeredPenguin | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Pepper | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Beetle | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | MoToR | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LayeredPenguin | 249 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | MoToR | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Beetle | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pepper | 99 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | BiggieFootz | 21 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | +4.03 | 58 | 67 |
| #2 | Beetle | +1.78 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | LayeredPenguin | +0.49 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Pepper | -0.12 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | MoToR | -2.52 | 48 | 57 |





