








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4214 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2698 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2543 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1623 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,498 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Pepper | 52% | 103 |
| #3 | Beetle | 52% | 287 |
| #4 | LayeredPenguin | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Not Good | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Pepper | 52% | 103 |
| #3 | Beetle | 52% | 287 |
| #4 | LayeredPenguin | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Not Good | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepper | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | LayeredPenguin | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Beetle | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | BiggieFootz | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LayeredPenguin | 999 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Beetle | 455 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Pepper | 345 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Not Good | 134 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | BiggieFootz | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | +2.08 | 55 | 63 |
| #2 | Beetle | +1.71 | 59 | 66 |
| #3 | Pepper | +1.46 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | LayeredPenguin | +0.28 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | MoToR | -2.16 | 46 | 58 |





