








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10120 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7354 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7282 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6065 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,344,400 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggieFootz | 56% | 158 |
| #2 | Beetle | 50% | 596 |
| #3 | MoToR | 49% | 258 |
| #4 | Pepper | 48% | 256 |
| #5 | Not Good | 48% | 75 |





