








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 807 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Esplay | 28 matches | 1,956 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11225 | 29% |
| Smokes | 11596 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7609 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8234 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,992,983 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Klipponaattori225 | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | jamal | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | mOnKeY | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ideal spender | 4 | 0.0005 |





