








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 26% |
| Smokes | 866 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1665 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1256 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,068 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplodinGravy | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | Fr3sh | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | W.G. | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplodinGravy | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | Fr3sh | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | W.G. | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ExplodinGravy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | W.G. | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ExplodinGravy | 54 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kung Fu Kenny | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oni-Chan | +1.39 | 62 | 41 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Kenny | +1.14 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Fr3sh | +0.67 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | W.G. | -0.78 | 47 | 38 |
| #5 | ExplodinGravy | -3.56 | 34 | 50 |





