








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 812 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5033 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7280 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5550 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6354 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,504,106 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThomasHK | 51% | 209 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Kenny | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | Hey there Jimbo | 48% | 207 |
| #4 | workFL | 47% | 136 |
| #5 | RightInThePussy | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RightInThePussy | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | ExplodinGravy | 43% | 226 |
| #7 | Nader | 43% | 124 |
| #8 | Fr3sh | 42% | 250 |
| #9 | KoKo Narah | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Hey there Jimbo | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ThomasHK | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kung Fu Kenny | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | RightInThePussy | 7 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nader | 407 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | ThomasHK | 322 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | workFL | 308 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hey there Jimbo | 295 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | RightInThePussy | 213 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RightInThePussy | +3.01 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Kenny | +2.74 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Hey there Jimbo | +1.70 | 48 | 46 |
| #4 | workFL | +1.69 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | Fr3sh | +0.55 | 63 | 56 |





