








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2795 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3637 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3942 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4036 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,854,366 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oni-Chan | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | Sac-Religious | 49% | 142 |
| #3 | Kravox | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | RightInThePussy | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | Nader | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nader | 43% | 67 |
| #6 | W.G. | 43% | 226 |
| #7 | Fr3sh | 41% | 399 |
| #8 | Kung Fu Kenny | 37% | 184 |
| #9 | KoKo Narah | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 27 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Kenny | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Sac-Religious | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | RightInThePussy | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | KoKo Narah | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 392 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | RightInThePussy | 386 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | W.G. | 364 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sac-Religious | 339 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Kung Fu Kenny | 331 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RightInThePussy | +3.46 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | Sac-Religious | +3.11 | 40 | 68 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | +2.77 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Oni-Chan | +1.68 | 60 | 42 |
| #5 | Kravox | +1.65 | 64 | 64 |





