








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1462 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1796 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1582 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,214 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AliBond | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | godkU | 74% | 27 |
| #3 | Nuori Hosuja | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | bhjz | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | ABC | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ABC | 69% | 13 |
| #6 | enzo | 68% | 53 |
| #7 | Myran | 63% | 16 |
| #8 | Polymon | 58% | 12 |
| #9 | Molly | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molly | 5 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | enzo | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | bhjz | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Polymon | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enzo | 192 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | godkU | 104 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | bhjz | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nuori Hosuja | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Myran | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Cheadle | +4.38 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | AliBond | +1.46 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | bhjz | +1.25 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | godkU | +0.97 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | enzo | +0.30 | 76 | 62 |





