








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 23% |
| Smokes | 134 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 57 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 136 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,484 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toasty2K | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Cancer Strike 2 | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | MaxZeni | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | dioxyde ☣ | 62% | 37 |
| #5 | Craiz | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Banger Buddy | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | Monke | 45% | 44 |
| #11 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 25% | 16 |
| #12 | \_.appa._/ | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khaotic | 25 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | Faust | 13 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Monke | 13 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 11 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 5 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faust | 180 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Monke | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cancer Strike 2 | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Khaotic | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Toasty2K | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faust | +3.24 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | eVisper | +2.92 | 96 | 10 |
| #3 | MaxZeni | +1.57 | 52 | 46 |
| #4 | Craiz | +1.27 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | Khaotic | +0.94 | 87 | 18 |





