








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 939 | 34% |
| Smokes | 214 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,844 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khaotic | 32 | 0.0384 |
| #2 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 22 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | eVisper | 19 | 0.0232 |
| #4 | Faust | 12 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | Glugger | 9 | 0.0249 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faust | 120 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Banger Buddy | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | neo | 93 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 91 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Khaotic | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |





