








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 507 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2641 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2096 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4799 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3154 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,156,482 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVisper | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Toasty2K | 55% | 87 |
| #3 | odb | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | ApexCritz | 54% | 149 |
| #5 | exus | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Warrior7912 | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | 46% | 174 |
| #11 | Skrunk | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | El Bean Bird | 44% | 32 |
| #13 | Potato | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApexCritz | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | busE | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Toasty2K | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | exus | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApexCritz | 303 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | 279 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Toasty2K | 238 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | busE | 215 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Faust | 191 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | odb | +2.69 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Faust | +1.59 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | exus | +1.58 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Skrunk | +1.05 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | eVisper | +0.66 | 95 | 14 |





