








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2745 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3987 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3361 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3565 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,545,515 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loidman | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | ReacTy- | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | PLixX | 59% | 96 |
| #4 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 59% | 265 |
| #5 | mortinho | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 59% | 265 |
| #5 | mortinho | 59% | 66 |
| #6 | r𝐳ミy | 59% | 94 |
| #7 | d0xN | 57% | 395 |
| #8 | Eggaaart | 54% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | d0xN | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Eggaaart | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | r𝐳ミy | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ReacTy- | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0xN | 1413 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #2 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 484 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | PLixX | 204 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Eggaaart | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | r𝐳ミy | 145 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mulde | +1.34 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Links flashen rechts bashen | +0.68 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | Loidman | +0.45 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | ReacTy- | +0.41 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | d0xN | +0.36 | 87 | 72 |





