








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2776 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3028 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2293 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2662 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,312 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r𝐳ミy | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | mulde | 59% | 96 |
| #3 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | Loidman | 56% | 149 |
| #5 | d0xN | 54% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | n♕iv | 50% | 62 |
| #8 | I'm in Space | 48% | 85 |
| #9 | Adapa | 48% | 21 |
| #10 | Eggaaart | 47% | 68 |
| #11 | foxy | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggaaart | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | d0xN | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Loidman | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | n♕iv | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0xN | 624 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Loidman | 394 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | n♕iv | 222 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | mulde | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |





