








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2555 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3369 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3889 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3017 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,755 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mortinho | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | PLixX | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | d0xN | 61% | 94 |
| #4 | mulde | 59% | 94 |
| #5 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 58% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mortinho | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | PLixX | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | d0xN | 61% | 94 |
| #4 | mulde | 59% | 94 |
| #5 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 58% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | mulde | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | d0xN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | PLixX | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0xN | 377 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | mulde | 202 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Links flashen rechts bashen | 162 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | PLixX | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | mortinho | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mulde | +2.00 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Links flashen rechts bashen | +1.27 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | mortinho | +0.71 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | d0xN | +0.62 | 87 | 69 |
| #5 | r𝐳ミy | -0.07 | 66 | 57 |





