








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1452 | 34% |
| Smokes | 960 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 136 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1664 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,938 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zer1k | 69% | 85 |
| #4 | Blind Pew | 69% | 49 |
| #5 | rlx to xitando | 67% | 104 |
| #6 | ByJeison | 64% | 125 |
| #7 | donk666 | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cringge | 54 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | rlx to xitando | 31 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | ByJeison | 20 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | donk666 | 12 | 0.0383 |
| #5 | Blind Pew | 9 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ByJeison | 738 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cringge | 689 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #3 | rlx to xitando | 344 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | zer1k | 210 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Blind Pew | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |





