








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1005 | 39% |
| Smokes | 477 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,615 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zer1k | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | ByJeison | 71% | 72 |
| #3 | Cringge | 70% | 70 |
| #4 | Mercurase | 69% | 49 |
| #5 | rlx to xitando | 67% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ByJeison | 71% | 72 |
| #3 | Cringge | 70% | 70 |
| #4 | Mercurase | 69% | 49 |
| #5 | rlx to xitando | 67% | 46 |
| #6 | donk666 | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cringge | 31 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | rlx to xitando | 21 | 0.0245 |
| #3 | ByJeison | 15 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | donk666 | 15 | 0.0600 |
| #5 | Mercurase | 11 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ByJeison | 435 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cringge | 356 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | rlx to xitando | 164 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mercurase | 151 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | donk666 | 51 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ByJeison | +4.60 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | Cringge | +3.76 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | zer1k | +2.44 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | rlx to xitando | +2.17 | 92 | 57 |
| #5 | donk666 | +1.60 | 85 | 50 |





