








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11159 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7819 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9017 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8033 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,343 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cummies | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | HaZ | 60% | 84 |
| #3 | SHROOMS | 58% | 212 |
| #4 | Skiddaz | 55% | 456 |
| #5 | Zander | 53% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198142600842 | 109 | 0.0291 |
| #2 | Skiddaz | 72 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Savcs | 67 | 0.0372 |
| #4 | Harry Abbott | 23 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | SHROOMS | 17 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiddaz | 1128 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | 76561198142600842 | 601 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | cummies | 339 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | SHROOMS | 332 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | HaZ | 256 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cummies | +2.48 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | SHROOMS | +2.19 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | HaZ | +2.18 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Zander | +2.15 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | Savcs | +1.84 | 92 | 29 |





