








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2294 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3573 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2752 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2517 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,147 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hypervigilant | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | romeo | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Raze | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | trifle | 57% | 165 |
| #5 | QwickieMAMBA | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raze | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | trifle | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | romeo | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Player | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Vinegar Mix | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trifle | 580 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Player | 285 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Trees. | 270 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vinegar Mix | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Raze | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raze | +1.81 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | Trees. | +0.94 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | trifle | +0.93 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | hypervigilant | +0.83 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | oogy | +0.73 | 74 | 68 |





