








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1401 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1551 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1271 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1474 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,923 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laj0ke | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | sib | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | NaT ThE ArTiST | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Saiki (CS2 enjoyer) | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | HG SkyneSs ♥ | 57% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiki (CS2 enjoyer) | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | HG SkyneSs ♥ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | NaT ThE ArTiST | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | La fusée | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | azX | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FRA - Seek Team - BockScaR | 540 | 0.38 | 15 min |
| #2 | HG SkyneSs ♥ | 291 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | La fusée | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | NaT ThE ArTiST | 156 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | san` #17 | 137 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laj0ke | +7.56 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | Pierrych | +2.56 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | sib | +2.28 | 51 | 70 |
| #4 | Saiki (CS2 enjoyer) | +1.24 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | NaT ThE ArTiST | +1.21 | 58 | 76 |





