








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2650 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3427 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3551 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3630 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,252 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0ti | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | pain. | 58% | 122 |
| #3 | Nitschu | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | Jesko / fjk_do | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Neunard | 56% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pain. | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Nitschu | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Neunard | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Cr3aCkS | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | gro | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nitschu | 750 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | Neunard | 549 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | gro | 443 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | pain. | 210 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jesko / fjk_do | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nitschu | +1.48 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Flo | +1.28 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Neunard | +0.98 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | Hello | +0.60 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | pain. | +0.55 | 72 | 58 |





