








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3926 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3696 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2569 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,596 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .django | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Jesko / fjk_do | 61% | 54 |
| #3 | future22 | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | pain. | 59% | 179 |
| #5 | Toui | 58% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Neunard | 58% | 199 |
| #7 | gro | 57% | 183 |
| #8 | Hello | 57% | 30 |
| #9 | k0ti | 56% | 88 |
| #10 | Hiqqz | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pain. | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Neunard | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Toui | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | gro | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | k0ti | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neunard | 767 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | gro | 568 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | k0ti | 324 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Toui | 300 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | pain. | 286 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nitschu | +1.93 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | Hiqqz | +1.79 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | Hello | +0.93 | 57 | 64 |
| #4 | Neunard | +0.79 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | Jesko / fjk_do | +0.67 | 83 | 75 |





