








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 383 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3422 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2897 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4419 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3251 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,288,360 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scorch- | 48% | 235 |
| #2 | viN | 47% | 411 |
| #3 | InspiringRex | 45% | 174 |
| #4 | Dirty Dan | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | TheHunter | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kawfee | 43% | 63 |
| #9 | Cory! | 43% | 77 |
| #10 | WooTs | 42% | 85 |
| #11 | YoungMoney | 41% | 39 |
| #12 | Shmoke | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viN | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | scorch- | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Shmoke | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | InspiringRex | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | WooTs | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viN | 1895 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #2 | scorch- | 693 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Cory! | 282 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | WooTs | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | InspiringRex | 168 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scorch- | +4.32 | 57 | 66 |
| #2 | InspiringRex | +1.19 | 58 | 45 |
| #3 | Dirty Dan | +1.05 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Matt Hunger | +0.49 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | Madeelia | -0.24 | 62 | 56 |





